Shed has been unavoidably delayed by a leak in the converted gravel barge he's been staying in with Mrs Shed so this week's opus has been phoned in with some degree of haste. He apologises for the absence of double entendres as he struggles to enjoy unexpected extra portions of Mrs Shed's special beef dripping.
Appropriately, the shed he has chosen to tell us about this week is also a barge, although you might not realise it from first sight. For some, stepping out in an elegant cabriolet with a big diesel motor under the bonnet ranks somewhere alongside stepping into the Quat'Saisons in a Roy Keane Man U shirt, but you might want to put your black pump prejudices aside for this gen-three Audi A4 3.0 TDI cabri-olay.
Weighed down by a full quattro Torsen all-wheel drive setup the 3.0 V6 TDI cab wasn't light at not far short of 1,800kg, but with 230hp and a growly 332lb ft it more than kept up with traffic. With a 6-speed manual gearbox, as here, there was a low seven-second 0-60mph time, a 150mph maximum and an average mpg figure in the mid-30s, making today's road tax bill of £415 a year a little more palatable.
Now there's no use pretending that a B7 A4 was a brilliant driving machine. It was basically a facelifted B6 with different suspension and steering settings. In 2008 Audi still thought all they had to do to deliver a sporty experience was stiffen up the suspension. In S-line spec on 18-inch wheels the ride quality wasn't great to say the least and Audi was noticeably reining in the interior trim quality by this time too, with more plastic and less metal and more incidences of aggravation with features like the climate control, but on the plus side our shed has Bose sound, sat nav and smart leather that seems to have worn pretty well.
Today, with 93,000 miles covered, it looks like a lot of car for the £1,990 money – they were £35k new – but will that two grand bring you more than two grands' worth of heartache? Even when these cabrios were new their windows rattled so don't be surprised if they still do that 16 years later. Timing chains rattled too when the tensioners started to fail, but the good news here is that our shed is a 2008 car which should mean it has the improved tensioner design, a good thing because if the chain stretched and jumped the valves would hit the pistons. Chains could be replaced on these, but their location at the back of the engine and the requirement to drop the powertrain ramped up the labour costs.
The motor was a beast, all but silent in moderate use and smooth everywhere. The 3.0 TDI's manual box was more industrial than inspiring, but torque steer wasn't an issue even in immoderate use. Tyre wear was a thing in any sort of use though, as was clutch wear if you gave it the beans on a regular basis.
Excessive black smoke from the exhaust usually meant turbo problems, while hesitancy on acceleration could be down to blocked fuel filters. There were some injector issues on the B7 3.0 that were resolved for the B8: white smoke on idle when warm was the giveaway there. Not every 3.0 TDI owner wanted to pay Audi prices to adhere to the service schedules but it was important to keep the fluids fresh despite all the 'sealed for life' noise that was around at that time.
Our car's last MOT test in April revealed corrosion on both rear coils and a long brake pedal, but the MOT advisory count prior to that has been pleasingly low with nothing alarming. It's got a few body scuffs and the start of some wheelarch frilliness but, unlike last week's Volvo, we can see that the electric roof works and the ad is nicely straightforward and unencumbered by excessive shoutiness.
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